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Stupid humor about stupidity. Stupid, but, perhaps, funny... Hope your Saturday's going well and you've managed to make it through another work week without hurting yourself or someone else ;) I'm still working (during my off time) on the many many suggestions for our bash cable TV listings script so that we have a decent update by Monday. Of course, while I do all that sort of puttering around (trying to figure out where they're hiding what information, and so forth) I like to take a break, now and again, to see if I can't find something to lighten the mood.

Sometimes just seeing what's laying about can be more interesting than you thought :) It's been a while since we touched on network port-knocking, like we did back in December in our post on non-maliciously scanning for open network ports. And, in all that time, we've gotten sidetracked so many different ways we're just now getting around to addressing the complement to mass-querying network ports on other hosts in our network (hosts run by folks who, of course, don't mind if we query all of their machine's ports.

Maybe that Linux system sluggishness is being caused by the CPU? It's worth a look :) Yesterday, we took a look at some useful commands to help identify memory bottlenecks in Linux. More specifically, we were looking at SUSE 9.x. We're going to use the same Linux version today (for our examples), although - again - much of this stuff translates fairly simply to other distro's.

A number of different ways to determine if memory is the issue when your Linux box hits a brick wall. Today we’re going to take a look at a few (well, maybe more than a few) ways to check your Linux box to find out if the reason it’s beginning to perform poorly is related to memory or memory-management issues. For today’s examples, in particular, we’ll be using SUSE Linux 9.x, but most of these examples translate just as easily to RedHat, Ubuntu and other widely-used distro’s, with some minor modifications.

A look at simple steganography and one of the easiest ways to implement it keylessly. For this week's Monday Linux/Unix bash shell script, we're following up on what turned out to be a fairly popular script from last week that made it so you could get your local tv listings from the command line with bash. This week's script is an update to include cable and dish TV as well as provide greater coverage of your personal provider's schedule. The next paragraph is another litany of "other scripts we've done before that somewhat resemble this one."

A more complicated and feature-rich version of last week's localtv script. For this week's Monday Linux/Unix bash shell script, we're following up on what turned out to be a fairly popular script from last week that made it so you could get your local tv listings from the command line with bash.

Thank God these folks had a place to vent ;) This end-of-the-weekend humor comes in the form of some funny (I'm hoping "intentionally funny" ;) bug reports that get out there into the mainstream. I'm sure the open source community (especially for successful and/or widely-used projects) can't be on top of everything all the time, and this is, in no way, a poke at them (they may, very well, be responsible for it. Just a bit of levity to help pass the time on a Sunday and (maybe, just maybe) make you forget that another work week is just around the corner.

Is it really "All Saints Day" Already? I'm just sitting here, ready to grab up some more Unix and Linux humor off of the net and thinking what would work great for Halloween. My only problem is, probably, by the time you read this, it won't be Halloween anymore!

More ways to recover your Linux or Unix terminal session, with reader contributions! If you're one of the many readers who submit a comment now and again (and even if you aren't ;), today's post is an homage to your helpful and insightful suggestions and tips. Some of you reading this right now may have emailed me with something that deserves to be posted as a comment to another post, and I can say, with great confidence, that it eventually will.

HP finally gets its propers in a post about LVM ;) Today's entry is a bit of a quick introduction to HP's Logical Volume Manager and was written specifically for an HP-UX 10.x box. We haven't specifically tested this against 11.x or 11i, but, from our experience working with both, this script should work with little-or-no modification on 11.x. Now that we've got a few HP servers to have fun with (I mean... work really hard on ;), we'll give HP-UX it's due and run through the essentials of LVM.

A simple Bash script to parse Google's PR checksum and return any pages rank from the command line! Today's entry may remind you of our older post on finding your Google index rank, but (aside from the word "rank" ;) it's a whole separate topic.

Simple script to let you know what's on local TV right now. For this week's Monday Linux/Unix bash shell script, we're finally starting to go after online TV listings. If you've checked out all of our other bash CLI scripts aimed at helping you to not have to open your web browser, please skip the following paragraph. It's redundant, to say the least.

This week, we're picking on the employees instead of the employers :) Last weekend, we poked fun at some of the insane want ads that companies put out when looking for IT talent. This week, to be fair, we're going to take a look at some of the goofy bloopers, funny blunders and (occasionally) serious bits of actual resumes that focus in on the unintentional humor that anyone who's ever had a part in the hiring process is familiar with.

If the beginning bores you, jump to 3 minutes 5 seconds in. Hilarious :) For this week's attempt to find even more Linux, Unix and/or computer-related humour on the web, I ran across an entertaining 4 minutes of video called "Unix: What the heck is it?" It's attached to this post, below, but is also available on OrienteeringPro's YouTube Page.

Simple "how to" on creating and deleting local zones on Solaris 10. Today's post is the final post in our quick series on dealing with local zones on Solaris 10. If you want to check the previous entries out, finish this paragraph. If you don't (or already have), just skip past this one :) The previous posts in this series have dealt with already-created local zones and how to create new file systems in a local zone on Solaris 10, modify filesystems in existing local zones and remove file systems in a local zone.

How to remove existing local zone file systems on Solaris 10. Today's post is a follow-up to our very recent posts on modifying existing local zone filesystems and creating new file systems in a local zone on Solaris 10. Today, we're moving to completion with this simple how-to on removing filesystems on local zones. We'll follow up with another simple post on how to create and destroy (all in one) local zones on Solaris 10.

How to modify an existing local zone's file systems on Solaris 10. Today's post is a follow-up to yesterday's post on creating new file systems in a local zone on Solaris 10. Today, we're moving on to a simple how-to on modifying existing local zones. As some of you may have noticed, with yesterday's post, I managed to blithely bypass the creation of the local zone we were working on.

We gave Solaris zfs the treatment. Now it's time to go after those zones ;) A while ago (back in May, 2008, I believe), we took a look at working with storage pools using ZFS on Solaris 10. As we know, ZFS stands for the Zettabyte File System and not the Zone File System (which some folks think it does. Not criticizing. It makes more sense than a lot of other things you might get from those initials ;). The point being, we never stopped to take a look at zones and lay down some simple procedures for working with them.

Wikipedia - When that other online encyclopedia just won't do ;) Previous entries, in backward chronological order, you may be interested in include our posts on accessing the Farmer's Almanac, accessing the International Dictionary, checking out the world's weather, spewing out famous quotations on pretty much any subject, doing encyclopedia lookups, accessing the online Thesaurus, translating between different languages and, of course, using the online dictionary.

Be careful what you do on your work computer - The security admin will get you :)