Two Cow Jokes: The Science Fiction ones
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| Author | Content |
|---|---|
| tuxchick Mar 17, 2009 9:29 PM EDT |
It's a quiet day here at the LXer ranch, so here's a little fun to liven things up: http://practical-tech.com/entertainment/two-cow-jokes-the-sc... Quoting: Alien – You have two cows, but no-one can hear them moo. Harlan Ellison - You have no cows, but you must moo. L. Ron Hubbard – You have two cows. Now give them to Tom Cruise. |
| TxtEdMacs Mar 17, 2009 9:52 PM EDT |
Unfair quote, taken out of context*. I object strenuously. * there were so many more ... |
| gus3 Mar 17, 2009 9:52 PM EDT |
Funny you should mention Mr. Ellison. He just sued over the residuals for "City on the Edge of Forever". |
| tuxchick Mar 17, 2009 10:19 PM EDT |
gus3, again? |
| gus3 Mar 17, 2009 10:35 PM EDT |
http://harlanellison.com/heboard/visitors/startrekpressrelea... Possibly NSFW. You have been warned. |
| tuxchick Mar 17, 2009 11:45 PM EDT |
Wow. Just...wow. What a bunch of thieves. But then, we already knew that. |
| ColonelPanik Mar 18, 2009 12:14 AM EDT |
ColonelPanik: Two cows have you. |
| tuxchick Mar 18, 2009 12:20 AM EDT |
I want to give cows to Tom Cruise. Now that would be funny. |
| ColonelPanik Mar 18, 2009 12:26 AM EDT |
TC: You owe me one hour. Why did you post this?
Try Dave's Garden if you want to get in touch with
your agrarian side. Funny stuff, but then most of LXer is funny stuff. |
| Scott_Ruecker Mar 18, 2009 1:10 AM EDT |
Its nice to know that LXer's true calling is as a Mecca for humor.. |
| TxtEdMacs Mar 18, 2009 7:27 AM EDT |
Anyone have the entire list of Enron Cow transaction analysis? I had it once and it was easy to understand their lofty, perceived market value. Problems only arose when somebody slipped when too many bulls were allowed on premises. That accident destroyed the foundations of this august company. Furthermore, there were many more than two cows exchanged. |
| gus3 Mar 18, 2009 11:03 AM EDT |
CP, it took you an hour to read this? |
| ColonelPanik Mar 18, 2009 2:23 PM EDT |
g3: Every word! But...I had to look up a huge number of quotes because I don't have
the SiFi/Fantasy background. Scott: I'm sorry but I do get lots of laughs here. |
| Scott_Ruecker Mar 18, 2009 4:10 PM EDT |
I took no offense to it at all Colonel, I get a lot of laughs here too. It is one of the things that endeared me to and kept me coming back to LXer.. Now look at me..couldn't get away if I wanted too, not that I would want too, if I could..;-) |
| tracyanne Mar 18, 2009 4:44 PM EDT |
Douglas Admas: Two cows appear from nowhere on a cricket pitch, at Lords, in the middle of an over, no one notices, because it’s someone else’s problem. |
| number6x Mar 18, 2009 6:04 PM EDT |
Two cows walk into a bar. The third one ducks. |
| ColonelPanik Mar 18, 2009 6:07 PM EDT |
TA: Que es eso? Next you will be going on about some bent-leg spinner. S_R: I have heard of a 12 step program for people addicted to certain websites. Not that LXer is a certain type. |
| Sander_Marechal Mar 18, 2009 6:15 PM EDT |
You are offered two cows. One is big, fat, healthy and costs absolutely nothing. The other is a skinny beast with bad hooves, obvious signs of mad cows disease, gives hardly any milk and costs more money than you really can afford. For some odd reason 95% of the people keep insisting that the second cow is the better deal. |
| caitlyn Mar 18, 2009 8:49 PM EDT |
Personally I'm waiting for the final episode of Cattlestar Moolactica (the bovine SF adventure). |
| tuxchick Mar 18, 2009 9:06 PM EDT |
AUGGGHHH |
| caitlyn Mar 18, 2009 9:29 PM EDT |
C'mon. It isn't worse than: Dune - You have two cows. One cow is very special, a result of a special breeding program of the Bene Farmer. He is the Kwisatz Udderach - the one who can milk in many places at once. It is he who will lead his millions of Frecows across the pastures, like a fire of death across the known universe, trying to end the tyranny of the Milkstraad. |
| Scott_Ruecker Mar 18, 2009 9:35 PM EDT |
OMG, Caitlyn, you are awesome, I just about fell off my chair. Dune is one of my all time favorites.. |
| techiem2 Mar 18, 2009 9:46 PM EDT |
mmm Dune....just bought the DVD the other day. :) |
| tuxchick Mar 18, 2009 10:00 PM EDT |
Noooo, get Dune the BOOK, not Dune the awful movie. Kids these days... |
| techiem2 Mar 18, 2009 10:08 PM EDT |
lol. I read the books before I ever saw the movie. Still need to read the ones that were published after the original series though... And where else can you find Patrick Stewart and Sting in the same movie? lol. |
| azerthoth Mar 18, 2009 11:20 PM EDT |
+2 for caitlyn ... and you owe me a new keyboard |
| gus3 Mar 18, 2009 11:55 PM EDT |
Uh, caitlyn, if "he" will lead "his" millions, then "he" isn't a cow. Kids these days, indeed. |
| caitlyn Mar 19, 2009 12:51 AM EDT |
I didn't make up the Dune one. It's from the article. Cattlestar Moolactica is a Caitlyn original, though. |
| caitlyn Mar 19, 2009 1:03 AM EDT |
Firefly: Alliance cows: Two by two, hooves of blue. |
| Sander_Marechal Mar 19, 2009 4:56 AM EDT |
Star Wars: There are always two cows. The master and the apprentice. |
| jdixon Mar 19, 2009 5:36 AM EDT |
> if "he" will lead "his" millions, then "he" isn't a cow. True. He would be a bull. |
| NoDough Mar 19, 2009 8:33 AM EDT |
Will no one tie in tucows.com? Edit: Two cows walk into a LUG. Downloads commence. |
| ColonelPanik Mar 19, 2009 1:32 PM EDT |
tucows? Wow thats a blast from the past. S_R This thread may go on to be the longest running evar. Much to the joy of the Redmond Rocketeers. Two cows w/MSCEs take over the server room. |
| tuxchick Mar 19, 2009 1:45 PM EDT |
LOL Colonel, it is true that any cow who has $10,000 to spend can get her MCSE :D |
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