Why not XP?

Story: [Paul Ferris: RANT_MODE=1] This Christmas, give the gift that doesn't keep on taking ...Total Replies: 7
Author Content

Dec 16, 2004
10:19 PM EDT
Paul, you pathetic penguin-pushing pawn of the proletariat .

I see that you are still alive, and, all appearances to the contrary notwithstanding, so am I. That, I suppose, is a good thing. Kinda nice to see Dave's still kicking around, too.

Truth be told, I am concerned at your lack of forward progress.

Seriously. Rant_Mode=1 ?

Since you started using that, we've seen Windows go from 98 to utter self-absorption (ME) to XP on the home front, and NT to 2000 to XP on the business front (well, there was the 2003 server edition).

We've gone from the United States to Red States and Blue States.

We've seen the Democratic Party go from savvy political machine to national hissy fit.

We've seen Red Hat go from Red Hat to a corporate service provider of the same name and Fedora.

We've seen VA-Linux go from -- Oh wait! We haven't seen much of VA-Linux lately, but it's about to be Japanese.

We've seen Mozilla squat, grunt, and squeeze out Firefox, ending a gestation period that seemed to take forever, but which, in reality, was a few days short of that.

We've seen the MacIntosh go from Mac OS to OS X, joining the Unix family in the process.

We've seen Linux go from upstart OS to serious corporate option and competent end-user platform.

We've seen 9-11, Afghanistan, Iraq, shoe-bombers and airport security that gets to feel up whomever it wants (We had to make sure you weren't hiding a couple of bombs in there, ma'am. By the way -- very nice!).

But rant_mode is stuck on 1.

That is SOOOOOOO twentieth century.

Why not rant_mode 2004? Or mode.Rant? If you're going to be unimaginative, might as well go rant-mode XP. At least you'd be stealing from the masters. You could go with rant_mode_64=however many gazillions 64 bits gives you. AMD might even toss in one of their nifty new 90 nanometer (as in, Hooray! We finally made it run cooler!) Athlon 64s for socket 939.

Movie buff? Why not Passion of the Rant, or rant_mode 911? There's always Lord of the Rants if you don't want to get too controversial, or Rantlish if you really want to be up-to-date.

Content with TV? Not a problem. You could go with Desperate Rants, Rant Factor. You could do 60 Rants, but the cost of experts to authenticate everything you put out would drive you into the poor house.

Are you still hoping that the Browns, Indians, and/or Cavaliers will amount to something? Why not rant_mode=hopeless. You could try Rant Nation. Worked for the Red Sox.

The possibilities are endless. Get to it.

By the way -- welcome back.


Dec 17, 2004
1:14 AM EDT

As usual, I see that for some strange reason, you cannot pass an opportunity to flame me in public. Dave sets up this beautiful web site, completely devoid of flash advertising, obnoxious colors and the usual busticated layout problems, and what do you do? You pollute the intellectual content by pointing at version numbers of hypothetical constructs (like my tag line). You missed Java, by the way (rantMode=1;)

Some things are best unchanged. Sometime you get it right the first time. Remember the days when you could log onto LT and actually read content without having to squint into a two-inch slit on your monitor. Ahh, those were the days. They were almost perfect, except for one thing.

Some crazy guy was always flaming me in the talkbacks... wait that was you!

You nostalgic hackers are all alike. You crouch in the dust of your museums, nothing but the glow of the emergency exit lighting and the smell of rotting chads to guide your way. You want progress to halt and if you could get the rest of us to use software from the 70, punch cards and magnetic tape, all the better.

You thought you'd mask your intentions by spouting on about progress, but I'm on to you! Ha! Dave's in on it too. We'll both spoil your little game. I'll set RANT_MODE to a jillion (possibly 2 jilliion -- don't tempt me here). Then -- THEN -- we'll see what kind of response from Dinotrac I get. Dave will put so many flash ads and banners on the site that you'll have to resort to a text based web browser to find the content.

We'll overcome your conservative ways. There are more than integer values and object-oriented constructs in the works for RANT_MODE, just you watch. In the mean time, you can sit back there with your paper tape and mainframe terminals -- we're onto you now!

I do applaud you at least for not bashing my stature. I'm guessing some lawsuit relating to your height-biased tendencies finally caught up with you.

PS: I've missed this too, for some twisted reason :)

Take care Paul

Dec 17, 2004
4:13 AM EDT
Absolutely hilarious!

Dec 17, 2004
6:08 AM EDT
Who's this dave guy?

Dec 17, 2004
6:12 AM EDT
More importantly, who is mvermeer? Martin Vermeer !?!

Blast from the past.... :)


Dec 19, 2004
11:15 AM EDT

Long time no see. Good to hear from you again!

-Steve Bergman

Dec 19, 2004
3:33 PM EDT
And Good to be heard (not Hurd). ;0)

Dec 19, 2004
3:35 PM EDT
Why not XP? One word: BLOAT. XP makes a 2 GHz screamer into a 33 MHz Pentium.

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